Am I Ordinary???




Am I ordinary?????
Before I got married I certainly wasn’t.
I was a cheerful, happy-go-lucky stubborn child who was the apple of my parents eye. I was talented, I think, cos I captained at least three school teams in the field of sports… the hockey team, the netball (girls basketball) and the rounders ( girls softball) teams beside swimming and playing tennis at school and district levels.
That I assure you was no mean feat that too In a country like Kenya where sports was fortunately a compulsory part of the school curriculum… {a part so inexclusive that you only got out of it if the doctor declared that you were dying tomorrow….I think I should dedicate an entire blog to this concept and just keep it long enough to drive the point home in this one}….. and therefore so competitive due to the talent every school nurtured. That too when I was five foot nothing Indian girl surrounded by tall strapping hefty white and African girls whose bloodlines overrun with sporting genes!!!!
I sang…ok croaked…….knew every English song old and new, Punjabi song, hindi song, Swahili song, you-name-it song there was to know…..I drummed on buckets, sketched, danced….I was the youngest prefect and then Headgirl of my school…tiny but powerful!!!…Oh I did it all and was fairly proud of myself. At least I wasn’t an insipid wallflower satisfied with being a follower cos inspite of my dimunitive physicality, I was a leader and a powerhouse!!
Enough said cos soon my bubble was to be burst!!! Why you ask? Well duh!! I got married!!! No more questions please!!
Theres something about India and Indian mother-in-laws that somehow bring you back to Mother Earth with a colossal bang!!!! I think they are bigger than Gravity…obviously Newton didn’t sit under a mother-in-law tree or he would have had realization a lot sooner than he did!!
Its amazing how all the talents your prided in actually become a bone of contention when it come to MIL…….how anything enterprisingly attempted by you after matrimony becomes a vice only shared by those witchlike creatures who come from abroad ( read “Baaron aayi hei”…..which translates loosely to don’t trust anything she says or does cos she is from foreign lands and hence grossly tainted and totally characterless ).
If you cooked, that new dish made with perfection is apparently an attempt to show off and downgrade MIL’s supreme culinary skills that her children have sworn by for 30yrs…..
If you dressed well ,that new suit you wore to a friends party was suddenly so revealing that MIL had to dig a hole in the ground and hide herself in order to redeem her lost honour….
If you attended those God Forsaken Diwali cards parties once a year as a newly wed with your amateur flash playing husband, you have miraculously managed to undo all the moral teachings the poor 30 yr old had abided to while in the divine hands of the mother , and managed to turn him into some great gambler overnight!
If you read a book during the daytime ,you were wasting time cos more important deeds awaited you in the kitchen(long after the kitchen work was thoroughly over and done with)…if you talked about sports, you were cut off with the question “has your mother taught you how to make sarson ka saag”?
You get my gist?
Its so easy to get bogged down by all this type of burden or discouragement…something that you allow yourself to get dragged into for the sole purpose of fitting in and calming the MiL down…hoping to be a chapter in her good books….alas it doesn’t happen and you manage to lose yourself somewhere along the way.The real you disappears only to be replaced by a lesser being, a chameleon of sorts changing colors to blend and protect herself from hurt…an ordinay person in an ordinary place.
But it took me many years to realize I am not ordinary… many years to break from the new mould I had caste myself into….. many years after….!!!!
N.B. Please do realize, however, that this price is a small one to pay, for ultimately you undergo these changes for the man you love, the children you are so blessed with…..they become your priority and no sacrifice seems too large when weighed against their importance in your life. Something , unfortunately , the newer gen doesn’t seem to relate to……putting family before self. However pls allow me to add that MILs of that time…were of very conservative thought processes probably stemming from being misunderstood or oppressed by the Gen before theirs but that didn’t make them bad people…they had their fun side too and there was a lot of traditional values and tips you could learn from them which are slowly a dying art nowadays
To go on…..
My children have been the harbringer of change in my life, thankfully, supported by my husband! God Bless them!
They grew old enough to realize what was happening around them…old enough to recognise, retaliate, to speak up, to encourage, to force ,to propel into action. They pushed me, shoved, bullied me into picking myself up again, taking pride in myself, bringing about change. They protected fiercely, fought unhesitatingly and scolded mercilessly.
Where I hesitated, they insisted.
When I levitated, they firmly grounded me.
When I saw fear they reassured me…gave me confidence.
Where I scrounged, they gifted ….made sure I had the raw material to begin again.
When I faultered they picked me up.
I am not ordinary…I fought the odds with bravado…even if I lost myself for a while it was so my love would not face embarrassment or humiliation by my “unIndian “ behavior (knowing that I was more Indian in my principles than most of my Indian counterparts)…I came out victorious, having won the heart of my husband and friends…I lost myself for a while but did not lose ME….I was there all along, suppressed but not beaten, just like a bear in hibernation waiting for the right season.
My season has come….hibernation timeover and as long as I have my husband reluctantly edging me on, my kids fiercely shoving me in new directions and my beloved friends, dancing crazily by my side , being as silly as I am , matching stupidity with stupidity, love with love, I can go back to being me….dress like me, talk like me, paint like me, sing like me, dance like me, write like me , be like me.
Because I am NOT ORDINARY!!!!!!

Participating in Half Marathon Blogging Challenge with Blogchatter


3 thoughts on “Am I Ordinary???

  1. I guess everyone has a phase in life where that extraordinariness seems to be on a lower level than it was earlier to that. 🙂 Good to remember that there will be moments after where people close to us will help to push it back to where it was, but in a different way of course. 😀 Keep being extraordinary.

    Liked by 1 person

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