Slaves to our Egos!


There is a sad and scary scenario circulating the all around us… maybe not in everybody’s world but certainly that of many I know.

Picture the scenario… A grey haired Patriarch or Matriarch of the family .. (for convenience of expression we shall speak of this head as being a He…) who has struggled from a young age to contribute to the upkeep of his household, has devoted so many years to hardships interspersed with joys, travails,and problem solving that by the time his family grows up, grows equal, grows ahead in many ways, he is tired, set in his ways even though he struggles to keep up and claims to be constantly changing to fit in, rigid, arrogant about certain things, egotistic about what he claims to be always correct about due to years of experience and dealing with the worst obstacles but nevertheless , pretty non compliant with the changing views and work mode of the new gen.


He has reached a stage when he begins to suffer from a bit of a superiority cum persecution complex ,where he has hammered himself into believing that all that he has stood for or worked for is threatened by a family or surroundings that think differently, have different priorities and interests, and way more independent than he would like them to be in general and are 100% more technologically advanced and way more dependent on it for conducting their daily chores, entertainment and business

A scenario that is unfathomable for a veteran who cannot understand how it’s possible to get things done without rolling in the mud and getting one’s hands dirty!

How can little 5″ pieces of metal and plastic be a substitute for manual Labour. How can daily trips to the banks, offices, marketplaces and impending business collaborators be replaced by a message, a phone call, and email, a wire transfer, social media interaction and promotion , e-commerce often without leaving the confines of the house!
How can a phone call placed at 2 pm in the afternoon achieve the same result as when one had to queue up from 9am to get the same thing done!
How could a face to face confrontation be replaced by a conference call or skype meeting without being disastrous because ” the personal touch” that was the norm for decades was missing!
How could twitter which sounds like a birdy thing gone wrong , reach out to more people than flyers in the local daily could! How could Instagram which was nothing but a bunch of show offs travel photos, be an apt platform to advertise serious work?!!
How could blink and miss snapchats possibly help a business To up its game in this competitive world!
He thinks you need to be there, hands on at all times, shouting off the top of the roofs about what ure doing! Yes, in many ways that is the requirement especially in India with its uending paperwork, bureaucracy and red tapism, but not in every situation!
There are substitutes, new methods, new ploys, modernity!


What if each member of his family has different interests and hobbies. What if their communication skills were different from each other? Thought processes more (or less )evolved or broad minded! What if they spoke a non verbatim language that he cannot get the grasp of!
What if their backgrounds were so different that finding common ground was becoming more and more difficult with each passing day and age!
What if the claims of changing himself were only superficial and in reality he was still neck deep in age old beliefs such as members of the family (especially females of the family) should not be asking too many questions, asking for explanations, or wanting to enjoy time out with people other than himself..maybe with a gang of girls or siblings! He reluctantly may give in out of pressure from the family members but at the back of his mind it is all wrong to him as he cannot fathom how a group of girls or boys alone could not be upto no good..evil even probably!


He reacts instantaneously, jumps to conclusions, judges unfairly, sulks like a character from the Mahabharata , sinks into depression because he thinks everyone is his worst enemy, cooks up a storm in his mind where he is caught  in a whirlwind tornado and is being tossed around by ruthless entities that seem to want to render him obsolete !
These negative thoughts and a refusal to sit it out and listen to a counter view patiently instead of responding violently the moment topics or arguments turn contrary to his rigid ideas are slowly turning households into modern day Mahabharatas . The  dispute may not be about land but definitely about egos and the will to force one’s ideology upon the other without taking his input into consideration and agreeing that someone other than himself may have a valid point or argument!

The youngsters today are headstrong yet supremely savvy..more so than the previous Gen mostly due to the very technology and exposure that the older Gen is so suspicious about!

Yes they have a lot to learn from their peers who they have struggled their way through life and learnt things the hard way, when they didn’t have conveniences available on their fingertips. No money, support or Google to show them the way! Listening to their experiences , they may not consider the plot to be relatable but they can certainly save themselves a lot of heartache by skipping the difficult parts that they may encounter or jumping seamlessly over the hurdles with help from solutions their fathers took years to arrive at! So listen they should, not to satisfy the older man’s ego, but to make theirbown lives  more smooth sailing!

The younger Gen needs to  realise this and give more credit and respect to their elders  but also until  the grey haired men and women are ready to accept these radical changes in the world  whole heartedly and try to merge them into their daily lives, they can never hope to understand the ways of those more compliant to modern scenarios!

If they don’t know better, it is futile to attempt to enforce the outdated scenarios that existed before onto those that have found newer means and knowledge!
There was always the debate about Generation Gaps but it is more about generation egos where unfortunately, more often than not , it is the older generation who is stubborn and relentless and non forgiving about anything that is counter productive to their decades old EGO!!!


2 thoughts on “Slaves to our Egos!

  1. Wow!!! This blog is true to every word. Whether its a grey haired man or woman, India or anywhere else in this world, the same kind of EGO issue prevails… lest to say that it’s more the grey-haired male than the female who is as rigid and unforgiving as you say. The new Gen, and me being one of them, can easily relate to the scenario, be it in the workplace or at home. Often times, the incessant questions, almost judgmental/degrading comments and disbelief makes us rebel, forget our morals/manners or who we’re talking to because from our side, it’s seriously feels like we’re talking to the brick wall, except this wall shoots off bullets of “hurt ego” induced by feelings of “So you think you’re smarter than me” gunpowder… Naturally we ARE gonna take cover and self-defence comes without saying, not that this is any excuse to justify our ill-mannered behaviour, tone or use of words.  This makes us want to RUN!!! We never want to be home, purely becuase after a hard day at work (eventhough for the grey haired man, all we did was play on our devices, earn easy money, entertain friends or be entertained by the wrong company, only coz he doesn’t approve), you just want some peace and quiet!!! This unfortunately, will always be the scenario, the reason for divison and broken bonds in most places, until the generation gap is bridged… and we all know that is never going to happen!!! Neither Gen is wrong, you toiled and earned, we toil and earn too, it may be a totally different medium of toiling and earning but nothing ever come easily… both generations need to learn to (and I’m guilty too) respect others opinions, eventhough we may not agree and keep the peace because at the end of it all, the grey haired man spent his life to give us the life we have and he needs to see that the life we’re trying to make which we consider “toil by the sweat of the eyebrow” wikl be outdated and lame for want of a better word, by the GEN-NEXT who will believe that they too are really working hard hours of labour whilst programming the computerized robot to do the tasks of the day.
    Well written Mrs Chopra!!! Very topical and relatable.

    Liked by 1 person

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