image from the internet
She had always been teased by her friends as being paranoid to an extreme. Of course she didn’t believe them and went about her business as usual inspite of protests from those around her.
Her visits to any public loo in India way back, was non existent. She had mastered the art of telling her bladder to shut up and muscles to squeeze hard until every last drop of its contents had been pushed back into the intestines waiting to be allowed to flow down and out at a more prudent time.
Thank God for cleaner hotels and malls which allowed her to dare once in a while and the visit dedicated to the extraction of byproducts from her sterile body was nothing short of an execution of military precision and timing accompanied with a few audible gasps and groans , exclamations and expletives, shrieks and abuses and a lot of shuffling, struggling, wiping and washing….sounds alien to the queues of ladies waiting outside her cubicle, squirming embarrassedly as they tried hold things in until its occupant rushed out like she was being chased by a demon, straight to the washbasin. Here her training further put up a spectacle for the benefit of the onlookers as she clutched her handbag between her knees, turned the tap and squirted soap from the dispenser with her elbow and scrubbed her hands like there were germs the size of anacondas on them (which there may well have been) . The elbow again, the knees still in play, holding on to the bag for dear life as she wobbled to the air dryer and waved her hands under them like she was slapping the germs in the air with a vengeance!!
Clean and dry finally she would grab her bag from between her legs, smile as if the last 20 minutes were a normal occurrence and stride out of the washroom with a nonchalant wave of her germ free hand.
Her anti germ avoidance precision abilities or AGAPA as we call them, were now even more crucial and were about to be put into play as she prepared to fly home to Mumbai after being stuck indoors in Delhi for the past 3 months.
The thought of stepping out of the front door and into a cloud of corona viruses was a daunting one but she had made the decision to brave it all and head home whatever might be.
She was sick of being stuck in an alien home of an aunt with 3 kids and no servant and had reached the last tether her sanity…she who lived alone , peacefully alone ,on the 7th floor of a plush apartment building with only her maid and the breeze from the balcony to disturb her thoughts. Nothing could stop her now !
She was off to war and she undertook the challenge with a war like footing.
All packed, she dressed in a jiffy, her Dior blouse and skirt immaculate as was her Prada scarf and Loubs. Her Birkin contained a pack of wipes, sanitizer sprays and liquids, extra matching masks and gloves.
Branded top to toe, she stopped to admire herself in the mirror and gave herself a pep talk about how easy it would be and smiled tremulously at her image in the mirror.
Her annoying cousin yelled out to her that her taxi had arrived and could she hurry up please!!
Gladly, she thought, and blew herself a kiss as she bade goodbye to the tacky room she had made her home for the past 3 months.
Dragging her huge suitcase ..the brand of which need not be discussed…she stepped out of her room with her trusted Birkin on her elbow and into the lobby where her aunt stood fussing and crying crocodile tears at the sight of her leaving.
Waving her hand at her cousins she instructed one of them to fetch a box from the table which she then proceeded to open and unwrap.
Lo and behold, she had her customised PPE kit from her favourite store all ready to slide into!!! Having contacted many a store and negotiated the price, design and fit of the body suit, she had finally decided on the final look and had it delivered to her a day before she stepped out to into this dangerous world to take it on like she was Super Woman !!
Wipe wipe wipe, spray spray spray, yell yell yell , squeal squeal squeal….she finally made it into and out of the airport and into her car 5 incongruosly long hours later having conquered the world.
She had flattened her curve and taken on the virus single handedly! She WAS Super Woman!!!
As she settled into her familiar sheets and pillows and allowed her eyelids to droop with a sigh, she remembered thinking that she would have to get a few more body suits made ASAP…It wouldn’t do be seen wearing the same one the next time she ventured out !!